Recent Posts
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Who Wins Championship Tournament: Semi-Finals
After shock and heartbreak in the last round, we’re down to our last four as The Joker takes on Doctor Strange and The Flash takes on Darth Vader, as they […]
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Round 1: Who Wins Championship Tournament – 5. Magic Users and 6. Enhanced Individuals
In this episode, Chris and Mark continue with the champion of champions tournament. In bracket 5 it’s Magic Users, while in bracket 6 it’s Enhanced Individuals. The Rules: Seeing how […]
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Round 1: Who Wins Championship Tournament – 3. Humans and 4. Superheroes
In this episode, Chris and Mark continue with the champion of champions tournament. In bracket 3 it’s Humans, while in bracket 4 it’s Superheroes. The Rules: Seeing how much we […]
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Round 1: Who Wins Championship Tournament – 1. Beasts & 2. Action Heroes
That’s right, listeners – we’ve been building up to this all year! As we hurtle towards episode 100, we thought it’d be fun to bring back all of our winners, […]
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Elsa v Frozone
In this episode, things get a bit chilly as Disney duelists Elsa and Frozone battle it out to determine which of them is the coolest mother*cker in the room.
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Wolverine v Freddy Krueger
In this episode, we pit everyone’s favourite X-Man against a disfigured child-killer from the dreamworld. Not that we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel or owt…
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Gandalf v Dumbledore
In this episode, Chris and Mark go all out to upset not one but two sets of internet superfans, continue the age-old argument of art vs artist, and demonstrate a […]
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Dennis the Menace v Dennis the Menace
In this episode, Chris and Mark get very confused as two pint-sized pugilists with the EXACT SAME NAME AND BIRTHDAY get into it for the unofficial title of Supreme Dennis. […]
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Hallowe’en 2023: Monster Hunters
In this Hallowe’en episode we’ve got more monster hunters than most kids have candy as a stacked line-up vies for spooky supremacy. In no particular order, we’ve got;
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Popeye v Desperate Dan
In this episode, things turn salty as Chris and Mark talk childhood comics, the lasting effects of Popeye getting amorous, and just what Popeye gets up to at sea that […]
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Animaniacs v Alvin & the Chipmunks
In this episode, Chris and Mark try to kill the unkillable as two hugely annoying triods attempt to off one another. Thanks to HotAmphibian6090 for suggesting this fight.
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SuperTed v Danger Mouse
We’re back after a lengthy lay-off (screw you, 2023!) to put two old favourites to the sword as SuperTed takes on the returning Danger Mouse.
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Dog Battle Royal
Chris and Mark are back with their biggest and most brutal battle yet, featuring some of the world’s best-loved dogs. And Scrappy-Doo.
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The Grinch v The Griswalds
In this year’s Christmas Special, The Grinch looks to go 6-0 as he takes on all 13 members of the Griswald family – including the Squirrel! For those of you […]
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Panthro v Black Panther
In a hastily arranged, unplanned change to the schedule, we round off Cat month on the network with Mark’s impression of an impression, a potential spin-off series for 2023, and […]
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2022 Hallowe’en Special: Clowns
In this episode, Chris and Mark round off spooky season with the scariest of all God’s creations. No, not Tories. Okay, second-scariest… While we’re here, Mark’s new book – The […]
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Jon Snow v Aragorn
In this episode, Chris and Mark finally decide if it’s harder to watch 80+ hours of Game of Thrones or 13 hours of Lord of the Rings. Oh, and there’s […]
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Go-Bots v Transformers
In this episode Chris and Mark get a stark vision of our future as the machines rise in battle. While you’re at our website, why not check out the “Books, […]
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Sonic the Hedgehog v The Flash
In this episode, Chris and Mark go faster than you can say “That’s what she said” as Barry Allen’s Flash squares off against a furry blue asshole. While you’re here, […]
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Buzz Lightyear v Flash Gordon
In this, the most brutal episode ever, Chris and Mark serve up a battle for the ages as Flash Gordon takes on Buzz Lightyear. The toy. While you’re at the […]
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Jubilee Special – Queens
To commemorate 70 years of sitting on her arse and doing nothing for 70 years, this episode pits Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II against some of pop-culture’s finest queens. Plus, […]
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Wizards
In this episode, we mark the arrival of Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness by throwing sorcerors, wizards and magicians into combat. Running the gauntlet are; Doctor Strange Harry […]
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Mighty Mouse v Batfink
In this episode, the big fight goes small, Mark forgets who’s fighting, and our dynamic duo get a hankering for blancmange… Music by Gvidon from Pixabay
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The Munsters v The Addams Family
In this episode, Chris and Mark get sidetracked more often than usual while debating where Frankenstein’s Monster plugs in to recharge…
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Maggie Simpson v Stewie Griffin
Welcome back! In this episode, Chris and Mark ring in the new year with a battle of the babies. One’s an evil genius while the other can barely stand unaided, […]
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2021 Christmas Special: The Grinch v Krampus
Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas, Fight Fans. It’s that time of year again, and The Grinch has surely met his match in The Christmas Devil. Can Mark’s spirit animal defy […]
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James Bond v Jason Bourne
In this episode we pit spy against spy as Mssrs Bond and Bourne test the ‘Special Relationship’, Chris and Mark wax lyrical over British Prime Ministers and their proclivity for […]
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2021 Halloween Special – Vampires
In this episode Chris and Mark bring out the bloodsuckers to round off spooky season, with appearances from; Dracula (Bram Stoker’s Dracula) Nosferatu (F.W. Murnau’s Nosferatu) Lestat (The Vampire Chronicles) […]
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Barney v Big Bird
In this episode, puppet behemoths collide on the corner of Sesame Street, Chris and Mark show signs of mental breakdown, and Chris falls for a round of Baby Shark. #sorrynotsorry
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Skeletor v Mumm-Ra
In this episode Chris and Mark kick off our He-Man season with a fight they shold have done years ago…
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Daenerys Targaryen v Pete
In this episode, short people with dubious hairstyles collide as The Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Lady of the Seven Kingdoms Regnant, Khaleesi of the Great […]
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Charlie Chalk v The Joker
In this episode the Clown Prince of Crime takes on the worst castaway ever – the first clown ever to fall asleep fishing and get washed out to sea only […]
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Winnie the Pooh v Paddington Brown
In this episode, Chris and Mark engage in some bear on bear action. No, wait, not like that!
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Donald Trump v “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Debiase
In this episode, Chris and Mark pit one of the most heinous heels ever to set foot in a WWE ring against former wrestler Ted Dibiase – See what we […]
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Robocop v Inspector Gadget
In this episode, the robots rise again as Robocop takes on Inspector Gadget.
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Heathcliff v Garfield
This episode sees two of the laziest competitors ever to disgrace our airwaves. And we don’t mean Chris and Mark
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2020 Christmas Special: The Grinch v Frosty the Snowman
Bringing the Christmas season (and the sh!tshow that has been 2020) to a close, everyone’s favourite magical snowman, Frosty, steps up to the reigning, defending, undisputed Who Wins Christmas champion, […]
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Sooty, Sweep & Soo v Emu
In this episode, we break out the best of British puppets as Sooty and friends take on Emu (minus Rod Hull’s hand up his arse)
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2020 Hallowe’en Special: Ghosts
In this episode, we round off spooky season with a question – how do you kill a ghost without a Proton Pack, a Trap and an Ecto-Containment Unit? Let’s find […]
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Angel v Edward Cullen
In this episode, Chris and Mark pit tortured souls in moral combat as Twilight’s Edward Cullen takes on Sunnydale’s original “Vampire with a Soul”, Angel. Who wants to live forever?
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Iron Man v Darth Vader
In this episode, two “cyborgs” face off as Chris and Mark discuss space wizards, mad-science and Midi-Chlorians, and pose a real head-scratcher – can a lightsaber cut through vibranium?
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Bill & Ted v Doctor Who
In this episode, Chris and Mark cause an inter-dimensional fender-bender to pit the chosen ones against the Tenth Doctor. Also, we stumble upon an idea for our next show
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Tony Soprano v The Godfather
In this episode Chris and Mark do the Mobster Mash as the Dons of New York and New Jersey vie for supremacy.
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Mortal Kombat v Street Fighter 2
Join Chris and Mark as they attempt their biggest, most ambitious battle to date, pitting the core cast of the original Street Fighter 2 against the core cast of the […]
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Chucky v Leprechaun
In this episode, Mark’s worst nightmare comes true as two pint-sized pugilists square off, we discuss our horror favourites, and consider rewatching one of these franchises for Better than Super […]
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Zoids v Dinobots
In this episode two of the coolest toy-lines in history square off, seasonal continuity confuses us, and we forget that this isn’t an episode of SMPD.
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2019 Christmas Special: The Grinch v John McClane
Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas, Fight Fans! Welcome to our 2019 holiday special, in which The Grinch looks to extend his winning streak to 3-0 in our “Winner Stays On” […]
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Disney v Looney Tunes
In this episode we pit the biggest icons ever drawn into unarmed combat, drop some anvils, and watch a semi-naked Scotsman go psycho. All in a day’s work, really…
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2019 Hallowe’en Special: Witches
In this episode we round off spooky season with some truly-terrifying women (and we’re not talking about Mark’s dating history!). This hallowe’en, WITCHES BE CRAZY!!
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Moomins v Wombles
In this episode, cute and cuddly get down and dirty as the Moomins take on the Wombles, Mark finally breaks Chris, and we cross many, MANY lines!
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Mario v Bob the Builder
In this episode we talk reboots and redesigns, the terror that is sentient scarecrows, and filthy theme tunes. Also, Chris gets all giddy from giving blood, so all bets are […]
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Tyrion Lannister v Willow
In this episode, we downsize the action but upsize the fun in the Battle of the Little People as we pit The Imp against the (other) Sorcerer’s (other) Apprentice
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Mary Poppins v Mr Nanny v Nanny McPhee
In this episode, we revisit our childhood traumas as the babysitters prepare to duke it out in a triple threat death match. Also, Chris learns something new and disturbing about […]
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Ewoks v Ro-Bear Berbils
Cute and cuddly, or the stuff of nightmares? Chris and Mark bring the Star Wars and Thundercats universes together for a savage smackdown
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Disney Battle Royale
Join Chris and Mark for the final of our Disney battles, as Rapunzel, Maleficent, Mushu and Flynn Rider go head to head to become the undisputed Disney champion
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2018 Christmas Special: The Grinch v Buddy the Elf
Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas, Fight Fans! In this episode, The Grinch looks to continue his run against the epitome of Christmas spirit – Buddy the Elf!
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Gremlins v Critters
In this episode, we discuss the seemingly-endless supply of gremlins, 80s horror-comedies, and what happens when you ejaculate into a gremlin
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2018 Hallowe’en Special: Movie Serial Killers
Trick or Treat, fight fans! In this episode, Chris and Mark unleash a bloodbath of cinematic proportions
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Fireman Sam v Postman Pat
In this episode, we break out the old-school public servants as Fireman Sam takes on Postman Pat.
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Baymax v Stay Puft
In this episode, Chris and Mark return from an enforced hiatus to discuss the longevity of demonic poo, the physics of marshmallows, and spunking Rice Krispy treats. Just like they’d […]
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Rambo v Commando
In this episode, two iconic 80s action heroes square off as John Rambo takes on John Matrix
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Marvin the Martian v Stitch
Join us once again as cosmos conqueror Marvin the Martian takes on Disney’s cutest killing machine, experiment 626 himself, Stitch
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Captain Hook v Jack Sparrow
Yo-ho-ho, Fight Fans – get ready for some swashbuckling fun as Disney’s most notorious pirate captains break ranks to go mano e mano.
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2017 Christmas Special: Geroge Bailey v The Grinch
Merry Christmas Fight Fans; w e’re back with another seasonal smackdown as our current champion – George Bailey – takes on an entirely different form of festive foe.
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Avengers v Justice League
Alright, Fight Fans – this is it. The big one. Finally, Marvel and DC square off in what may be our most controversial (and quickest) fight yet as the Avengers […]
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Disney Villains
Keeping up our theme from last month (and our unhealthy obsession with Disney Princesses – seriously, it’s not weird alright!!!), we continue the Disney theme with Disney Villains
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Disney Princesses
A Princess should never kick the crap out of other princesses, but that doesn’t stop our favourite Disney heroines from throwing down in our latest episode
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The Flintstones v The Simpsons
Yabba-Dabba-D’Oh!That’s right, Fight Fans, this time out it’s the turn of two of TV’s most important families to bite, scratch and claw their way into the history books as Fred […]
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Danger Mouse v Darkwing Duck
How does the world’s smallest Secret Agent measure up against “The Terror that Flaps in the Night”? And will bumbling sidekicks Penfold and Launchpad be as helpful as ever? Find […]
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Lara Croft v Nathan Drake
When not busy breaking into ancient crypts and violating sacred burial sites, what better way to relax than by kicking the crap out of your rivals?That’s right, Fight Fans – […]
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MASK v Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors
Strap in, Fight Fans – we’re going back to the 80s for this one as Mobile Armoured Strike Command (yes, with a K) take on the Lightning League as MASK […]
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer v Wonder Woman
Buckle in, Fight Fans, as this one’s going to be a doozie!In this episode, the Chosen One takes on an Amazonian Demi-Goddess as Buffy locks horns with Wonder Woman. With […]
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Guardians of the Galaxy v Firefly
A question for you, fight fans – If a tree falls in the space, can you still hear it scream?That’s right folks – we’re taking you out into the black […]
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Beast v The Beast
We’re back, fight fans! After a long hiatus, we return with two literal heavyweights as X-Men’s resident Beast Hank McCoy crosses the Disney Universe to take on The Beast (as […]
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Rocky Balboa v The Rock
The Italian Stallion goes one on one with The Great One as the People’s Champion looks to take the World Heavyweight Champion down Know Your Role Boulevard, on the corner […]
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Battle of the Big-Screen Batmen
“Holy Flying Fists! In this episode, to celebrate the release of Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice in movie halls around the globe, we went ahead and put the Dark […]
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Dobby v Jar Jar Binks
“In this episode we pit two unconventional-looking racists in a brutal scrap – and we’re not talking about Chris and Mark! We journey to a Galaxy far, far away to […]
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Hulk Hogan v The Incredible Hulk
Whatcha gonna do, when Hulkamania runs wild on you? That’s easy – send in an angry green namesake!In this episode, the Immortal Hulk Hogan takes on his Marvel equivalent. Find […]
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2015 Christmas Special: Santa Claus v George Bailey
He’s not the Messiah – he’s a very naughty boy! Picking up where last year’s Christmas Special concluded, perennial loser George Bailey takes on the mantle of “Underdog” once more […]
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Han Solo v Indiana Jones
“There has been an Awakening, fight fans, and it’s not afraid to shoot first or bring a gun to a sword fight! All aboard the Millennium Falcon as Han Solo […]
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2015 Hallowe’en Special: The Monster Mash
To celebrate our first birthday this month, we had a party with all of our favourite monsters (except Mike Wazowski – the little green bastard didn’t RSVP. Rude…). Find out […]
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles v Thundercats
In this episode, we discuss the difference between Ninjas and Heroes, video-nasties and divided loyalties. No animals were harmed in the making of this podcast. Apart from the ones that […]
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The Incredibles v The Fantastic Four
“It’s clobberin’ time, bitches! In this – our most Fantastic, Incredible episode to date – a Superhero smackdown leads us to answer one of life’s most intimate questions; Which super-power […]
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Robocop v Terminator v Ultron
“We’re back!! In this episode the machines rise up and slug it out for global supremacy, we unveil an actual alien species discovered in the depths of Chris’ basement, and […]
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Snoopy v Scooby-Doo
Ruh-Roh! In this episode Scrappy starts a rumpus, battle lines are drawn in the name of feminism, and the Red Baron gets high.
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Smurfs v Fraggles
In this episode we go in search of the magical Smurf Village, discuss what constitutes “attractive”, and find the muppet version of Susan Sarandon. Oh, and commit large-scale genocide in […]
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The Jetsons v Futurama
In this episode we send Robots, Prodigious Children and a Cyclops into a battle for our future, as well as discussing the true nature of Man’s relationship with technology.
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Voltron v Power Rangers
In this episode we really get our Geek on as Voltron: Lion Force take on the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers in a battle for galactic supremacy. No Lions or Dinozords […]
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He-Man v Conan the Barbarian
In this episode Prince Adam summons the “Power of Greyskull” as He-Man looks to protect Eternia from the advancing hoards of Conan, and we debate the gender of Unicorns…
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Christmas Special 2014 – Santa Claus v Kevin McAllister
“This episode is our 2014 Christmas Special, in which Santa tries to deliver presents to the Home Alone household. As it’s Christmas, it’s winner stays on”
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The Emperor v Voldemort
In this episode, the Dark Lord of the Sith takes on He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. This episode is finger-clicking good
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The Muppets v Sesame Street
In this episode The Muppets take on Sesame Street in a felt-on-felt smackdown